Dear Benjamin James Fussel,
How are you?
I hope that you're well, wherever you are.
It's been a few years,
though you've probably haven't aged.
Hey you know you're finally free from this cage.
Everytime i see birds i think of you.
Everytime i see a butterfly i think of you.
I think of how free they are, something you've always craved,
something you've pushed on me.
I'm writng this letter to you today.
Mostly because i missed you, okay.
And i had something i wanted to say.
The day I snapped at you and told you
You had a zit the size of Germany on your nose,
i was jealous of all those
correct answers written across your math test,
while mine was marked with red.
The day I snapped at you about having to study,
I was annoyed that i was struggling so much and thought you had it easy.
Boy i was sleezy.
And the day you stopped sitting with Julie, Alec and I
secreatly i was glad,
because i thought you weren't taking school seriously.
At least not like i was.
The day I apologized to you for all this
You told me
it was alright,
It didn't faze you.
But I know you were lying then.
The last day I saw you
and you stole Abby's dog and brought it in you bag.
because you smiled.
And as I waved goodbye it was all a lie.
The day you died
you had texted me.
And i ignored it, because
i thought i didn't need you anymore.
This letter to you is my confession and apology
I am the sinner.
And you deserved a much better friend then I was.
I remember you everyday.
I live my life like you did.
I can never make up for what I did.
And an apology, nor a confession,
can right the wrong.