A Letter to Someone, if I Happen to Love Them


Joyous are my words
Escaping through their swollen dry mouths.
My own penmanship floating through the air.
All whom lay close 
draw near to the trees,
brushing against the fine champagne skies.
He is in the clouds and the Spring
moving the leaves
To the western bay,
where I would like to die.

In the summer time, him and I, the season towards autumn,
Harvesting tree limbs,
Will sit on weak porches.
With dull, pallid paint,
Falling softly from rotting wood.
Our riches will, I promise,
Move us Northwest,
The sunshine I’ve missed and carried between each beat of my veins, Jumping with electric blood rushing to my heart.
Or, darling, if the roof bakes too hot, and the glare jumps from our window and into your sleep,
Awaking you much too early for good taste, 
We shall make our way to the East Shore, shoveling snow, too mountainous to enjoy.
I’ll sacrifice my sunsets for your East Side story book Christmas trees,
Lining our street, dozens of decorations.
Seasoning itself for Christmas time.

I am seasoning my confidence 
With good accompaniment and great muscle.
With flowery sweet music, to spill from my tongue,
To come to you,
And ask
“Where will You take Me?”



A nice epistle to love, it is a much better than the pushy, tell-all poems I have read on this site. "Or, darling, if the roof bakes too hot, and the glare jumps from our window and into your sleep," The zoomorphic glare is cat-like, ready to pounce. The love, in your piece, is subtle as "pallid paint" or "rotting wood", natural (in every sense of the word). I do recommend perhaps new line breaks in lines 11, 18, 20, 22, maybe 23, but that is a matter of taste. I thoroughly enjoyed your piece. Q.V.


Wow thank you so much for giving me this very well though out critical critique! I appreciate it very much, especially from someone with your status. Also, thank you for taking notice in my approach to the concept of love being "subtle" as the small details in my poem. Not many catch on as easily to what I'm trying to portray(;

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