Honestly, I don’t know if you know this,
But you were my homeboy, my road dog, brotha from another mother back in the day;
Me being an only child and we always did things together,
I was glad you were there;
But what happened to the good times?
You just left, why is that?
Was it your mother’s passing?
Was it your wife’s cancer?
Was it the stress of your job, your family,
Or the reality that you do for others,
But feel like no cares for you in the end?
I made it my mission to be your complete opposite;
I thought you were a joke, a fool, weak,
But I realize I was wrong until I stepped into your shoes;
Once I find out who you were through your stories of life,
How you carry your siblings while you were still a child,
How you were to take responsibility for other’s actions at a young age,
You were forced to grow up without your father,
Without that balance;
I’ve found out myself that doing for others can make you feel like the loneliest person,
And not receiving that same energy is heartbreaking;
Throughout my life,
From what I learned and what I’ve observed,
You were right that no one will understand what its like to be a black man in Amerikka;
To feel like a threat no matter how you act or how to look,
To be outcast by people for speaking your mind,
To realize no matter what you do,
That there is a system against you where you are taught to be a tool,
Taught that you have no power,
Taught that you are worthless,
Taught that you can’t even trust your brothas across the fence,
I see now….
That I’m my father’s son;
And for that I’m sorry you had to go through that;
Forgive my ignorance for I was not aware that what made you into the man you are today;
You are most definitely flawed,
But who isn’t?
But with those mistakes and struggles,
You’ve gained wisdom that has been pass down to your son,
And yes, he does listen;
I know I’ve said before how I didn’t feel like I had a father in the house,
But I have a new perspective,
And I thank you for being in my life,
Thank you for the memories,
Thank you for the lessons from your life,
And I’m glad I’m your son.