A Letter to Heaven

January 1st, 2018

 

Dear Dad, 

A lot has changed this past year.

One year ago, I was surrounded by eight friends.

Babbling heads with fancy clothes and pretty faces, I was among them.

Today, only one of them remain; she babbles less, and her beauty is no longer artificial.

I fell in and out of love with a boy who used me. 

I got another boy back, the one I truly love. 

I found, visited, applied, and got accepted into the college of my dreams. 

I went to prom, I wish you could've seen me in my dress. 

I fell.

I fell into a deep abyss of depression, hopelessness, and constant anxiety. 

I tried not to live anymore. 

I got back up, and I got help.

I got diagnosed and medicated, and, over time, I got better. 

I experienced a lot of death, and each being lost reminded me of the heartbreak your death brought. 

I got my first D-- it was in math, of course. 

I made a lot of new friends.

I discovered a lot about myself.

Listen Daddy, this next part's important. 

I learned that it's important to be compassionate towards myself.

I discovered that the only opinion that should matter is my own.

I found that happiness can come from wealth or from poverty.

I realized that imperfections are okay.

I see that life is not a "one-size-fits-all", and different strategies will not work for everyone.

But most importantly, I learned how to be okay, stand on my own two feet, but lean on others when I need to. 

I'm not alone Daddy; for once, I really don't feel alone. 

I miss and love you, but I don't want you to worry, I am finally okay.

Hugs and Kisses,

Your Daughter. 

This poem is about: 
Me

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