Lessons Mama Could Never Teach

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Mama never told me not to give it away
It was never expressed to me that your virginity was such a special thing
I mean sure I saw on the tv screen about the birds and the bees
But as I grew older it seemed like a popular fascination among all the teens
 
And people tell you that it's not as bad as it seems
My first time was with someone who didn't give a damn about me
He only did it cause his bestfriend told him I was a freak
But little did he know I was only a insecure virgin who just wanted to say she lost her virginity
 
 I mean sure I gave head before but it was when I was around the age of five and my step brother told me it was a game that we had to keep secret between him and me
And at the time I went along with it cause I felt like I had to but in the back of my mind I knew it was a dirty thing and if I even thought to mention it to my mom she wouldn't believe me
 
Everyone always said your body is your temple so hell I believed sex was the only way to praise me
All I wanted was for someone to love me
You see my mind was so messed up to believe that if I gave it up then that means someone saw past all the fat to see beauty inside of me
Never realizing that first I needed to love myself and my body was my temple meaning let no man disrespect me
 
But every time I went back because I just wanted to feel loved for one night
And honestly I thought I was the shit cause niggas wanted to fuck me
So I let any dude willing ram himself inside of my temple thinking this is love
I'm beautiful because a dude wants me
 
Sadly I was too blind to see that beauty doesn't come from sin
Sex isn't love just a temporary moment of ecstasy 
And the fact that I was doing it didn't mean he cared about me but I was just an object to make his little friend happy
 
So I'm asking myself
When am I going to find my self worth and truly love me?
And I'd be lying if I said the time was now because I still feel like I need someone else to help me find my own beauty

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