Learning to Cope

My mental disorders take me

to a place far away

 so dark I dread waking each day.

I wish I felt different and 

wanted to live

I often feel like I have 

no more to give

Im sick of the thoughts that 

race through my mind

I can not ease them for peace

is hard to find

I live each moment

in constant fear 

I am pretty sure the pain 

is always near

I want to talk; I have so

much to say

There is no point, because

no one is listening anyway

I am always exhausted,

and so low on energy
I am so tired, yet my mind 

races continuously

I worry too much over 

things big and small

I have a tendency to just 

do nothing at all

Nightmares haunt me 

both day and night

Flashbacks bring memories

from each fight

I hate being alone because

I am my own enemy

It is somewhat peaceful, for

no one is yelling at me

So much to do for my 

husband and children

I continue to fail them, 

so why am I living

I can't recall what happened 

a few days ago

I can't forget the past 

and just let it go

I say "I am sorry" even when

I am not wrong

I always feel guilty, and 

have for so long

I feel no need to plan 

for a future 

My present and past have 

been nothing but torture

My river of tears 

never runs dry

Not a day passes

that I do not cry

Just when I think I

am unworthy of love

God shines down from

the heavens above

He gives me constant reminders

of why I must stay strong

Even when I am weak and

everything is going wrong 

I thank him for my kids;

they are my heroes

Their unconditional love

helps me more than they know 

They give me strength when

I can not fight anymore

Because of them, I will win

this thing I call war

They have witnessed so much 

of my pain and suffering

I am not alone for they

are also hurting

I continue to look for light

beyond the darkness 

I pray for my family to have

strength, love, and happiness 

I refuse to stop fighting

these demons inside of me

Until I learn to cope with 

depression, anxiety, and PTSD. 

This poem is about: 
My family


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741