late night thoughts
my thoughts are a cry for help
a cry echoing into the void
the unhearing void
the uncaring void
i feel so alone
my mask of laughter
it must be convincing
does anyone know how i really feel?
i try to explain, late at night
but no one understands
they say i'm imagining things
that i'm too sensitive
that no one really would say that
but why should they believe me
i'm just one girl
struggling for a fragment of happiness
in the swirling chaos of miserable life
so what if i am awake all night
so what if my tears burn like acid
so what if my body aches
and i don't want to be alive
it doesnt matter.
not to anyone but me.
they tell me i'm not alone
that they're here
they'll listen
but then they leave
they always do
they find someone prettier
someone happier
someone better than me
and they leave
and i'm still here
existing
sort of
i just want the blackness to softly caress me
sweeping me into the peaceful darkness of death
no more pain
just
sleep
forever
a broken poem
a crumpled tissue
another sleepless night
my life can only get better from here
i hope.