late night thoughts

my thoughts are a cry for help

a cry echoing into the void

the unhearing void

the uncaring void

i feel so alone

my mask of laughter

it must be convincing

does anyone know how i really feel?

i try to explain, late at night 

but no one understands

they say i'm imagining things

that i'm too sensitive

that no one really would say that

but why should they believe me

i'm just one girl

struggling for a fragment of happiness

in the swirling chaos of miserable life

so what if i am awake all night

so what if my tears burn like acid

so what if my body aches 

and i don't want to be alive

it doesnt matter.

not to anyone but me. 

they tell me i'm not alone

that they're here

they'll listen

but then they leave

they always do

they find someone prettier

someone happier

someone better than me

and they leave

and i'm still here

existing

sort of

i just want the blackness to softly caress me

sweeping me into the peaceful darkness of death

no more pain

just

     sleep

             forever

a broken poem

a crumpled tissue

another sleepless night

my life can only get better from here

i hope.

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