I like to think I'm strong

I used to be smart 

I used to think I had some feelings bottled in this heart.

Maybe I used to be good looking once.

What the heck are women?

Is it really my destiny to always  be without them?

I like to think I'm brave.

I used to have a decent body

I once had arms that could melt the hottest hottie.

 

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!

I scream into the night. 

Hurting, left abandoned not safe from my plight.

I know you are watching.

I can feel your gaze.

But cannot feel your presence so I'm left in a daze. 

I'm scared.

I can't do this alone

But in the darkness of my mind no light of help is shone.

 

I don't know what to do.

Who am I?

How come I was born with dreams big, yet no wings to fly?

I need to change me.

To be better.

I need a stregnth to tough through any storm and weather any weather.

For those who believe.

And those who want my success.

I have to give this journey my very best.

 

These are the late night scribbles.

The words behind the lies. 

The rancid, sweet truth that burns beneath my eyes.

I flaunt my tough exterior.

I flex through the pain.

But when I lay my head at night all I want is a love to call my name.

My journey isn't just beginning .

It has already begun.

But every growing experience is a battle not yet won.

 

And to that burning future!

I proudly turn my head.

A walk my I know no man can ever walk in my stead.