I'm sorry this happened to you, I wish I could've been better. I should have shown you the right way like an older brother. but I couldn't, because I wasn't there. Now I have to see you die slowly in this hospital bed. That's every older brothers worse nightmare. I tried my hardest to tell you to be true to yourself as much as I could, but you wouldn't listen, you were to good for it. Now I have to sit here, and watch you suffer. It's never easy to have a death in the family. Especially when we were close. I told you; you were like a brother to me. I had you, all you had to do was ask me for help. I would have came asap, so you wouldn't have hurt yourself. Instead you suffered in silence. I would have never guessed you were depressed, especially on how the way you acted. You were always smiling, so how did it end tragic? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? I know you may say it's not my fault, but I believe it is. I could have been better, as an older brother. I'm sorry it came to this, I've should have known by the happiness. Some of our most happiest people are the most depressed. I know it sounds crazy, but I know from experience. I can't Change what has happened, all I can do it just except it. But I promise you I will see you again. I promise to be better for the future, and save others that went through the same as you. Rather If it's the last thing I do. I'll see you soon, goodbye for now.