Last Week

Last week I slept with some guy in the back seat of his car. 

I just wanted to feel something other than you.

but instead I felt nothing, 

and I guess that nothing was something 

but it wasn’t the something that I needed. 


the windows fogged up and his eyes were closed 

and I was glad that I couldn’t see my reflection in them. 

afterwards, I wanted to tell him sorry, 

it’s not that I was using him, 

I just thought maybe his fingerprints would erase yours. 


it’s not that I was using him, 

it’s just that the hickeys he left were prettier bruises 

then the ones you left on my heart. 

it’s not that I was using him. 

it’s that I was trying to forget you.


all I ever needed in this life was the feel of your lips on mine

and his on my neck let me forget you for a second,

but the leather of his back seats reminded me of  your favorite jacket-

it was cold against my skin like the way you looked at me


but you're gone and I don't know his name,

and now all I needed in life became all that I lost,

so I'll spend my nights kissings stangers on the street

and hope that one day all I needed goes away. 



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