nothing i am feeling is anything unique to the human experience.
i love you,
but how can you believe me?
you can't know how much i mean it.
how every night i hold xanex in my hand and my tongue can feel them in my mouth,
i can feel myself swallow, feel myself drift away,
but then i think of you doing the same thing.
the world needs you here. you have so much to give.
why can't you live without me?
just let go.
but selfishly, i don't want you to ever leave.
can i go, but be with you at the same time?
ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY
and what I want for myself and what I want for you are so tangled up...
I want whatever you do,
and that's why I let you put yor hand up my dress when I feel like crying.