I've never been too good

I've never been too good at being in the closet
Every time I hear any issue I'm interested in mentioned
I feel inclined to join the conversation
And speak my mind
I used to live with my rich white aunt
Who try as I might I can't understand it
Was so grossly homophobic
So hateful and transphobic
And it gave me a dark heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach
My friends and I were being personally attacked
And she used an omnipotent God of love to justify it
That got me into theology
You see
Because I wanted to see what this God of hers had against me
I found the absolute opposite
People are interpreting scripture twisted with hate
And it's the only thing I hate
Because His greatest commandment above all else was to love Him and everyone else
And this is the same God as Jews and Muslims
This holy God of love and kindness
And still in His name they spread hate and carnage and celebrate the deaths of others
I don't know about them but I couldn't look my mother
In the eye if I said that it was good that 50 people were dead
And that their deaths were wanted by God
They're also trying to blame ISIS but I don't buy it
This brand of homophobia I know it when I spy it
It's 100% home grown American quality hatred
And you can tell by the Joyous tweets that are responding to Orlando
This is truly what it's like to be American.
I refuse to be afraid to be myself
Because I've never been anything else
Even when I tried
I could not do anything to hide my pride.
Yesterday I cried
I locked myself in my room and cried
Tears of grief
Tears of terror
But today I see my error
And I no longer hide and cry
I stand up because I have pride
And my grief for those 50 people and all the people who have died because of hatred
Has become wrath and fury
Don't try to stop me
I'm not disappointed I'm angry
And writing is all I can do
Maybe the things I write will add to
The discourse
Of course
They probably won't
But for now and as long as my bitterness lasts I'll haunt
Your screens
with mile long passages about my beliefs
And no one's going to stop me
Of course you're allowed to leave
But what fun would that be
When you can watch me pour my heart out onto the keyboard
A play by play of me falling apart
A front row seat to my unraveling
I hope it's as fun for you as it is for me

This poem is about: 
My community
My country
Our world


Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.


If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741