It Wasn't My Fault
I don't think I can forgive you
- not right now.
Maybe I won't ever be able to.
But I know that I can't keep on
hating you...
because I've realized that you don't care...
So I'm done;
done hating you, done waiting for you
to tell me that it will all be okay...
Because I know that
nothing will ever be
okay...
The other day,
my therapist told me that
what you did to me counts as trauma...
My immediate reaction was
'it can't be trauma, it was my fault.
I deserved it...'
She said that
taking my best friend away from me
for something that
I couldn't control
- that I can't control -
and blaming me for everything is a terrible thing.
She said that
I was a kid,
and you were an adult...
She told me
that you had no right
to treat me the way that you did...
It's taken me four years
- four, awful, painful years -
to be able to tell myself
- to believe -
that maybe, just maybe...
it wasn't my fault.
It wasn't
my
fault.