We were sprawling with our words once again

but I was done. She thought our relationship was over

but it wasn’t. I left for her dorm against her wishes-

and my mom’s. No one was going to tell me

what I could or couldn’t do. This was my decision.

 

I arrived, we fought, and made up, but work was

only hours away so I left her there begging

me not to leave. The road was empty and dark and

I debated turning around but drove on, homeward.

My eyelids weighed a thousand tons. I closed my eyes-

but only for a second- and when they opened

the world spun around me. Everything came to a halt

and the engine became lifeless. I dialed 911 and stepped

out of the car- now faced backwards- glad to be alive.

 

“Get back into the vehicle and turn on your hazards”

was the order. I complied and looked up to a blinding

light. One turned into two and I- the steering

wheel crushed into my chest; tires screeched around

me; I gasped for air; my collar bone snapped; my

groin split into two; and my skull cracked against glass-

I opened my eyes and looked down at myself.

 

The light dimmed and I saw my mom- then my

friends holding my hand and crying.  They didn’t even

look up at me. When she showed up, she just stared

at me. She held my hand- squeezed it three times

like always- and said, “You are strong. You are

appreciated”. A tear began to trickle

down her face and I walked over and wiped it away.

 

I promised her I would never make her cry.

But then again, I also promised we would die together.

2-20-2018