It all ends on one note

It’s all but a distant memory now …
Clouded by a vision of what use to be…
As nothing from before seems to exist anymore…
Everything faded away like the sun on a rainy day…
Including myself and who I use to be…
That man that stands in the mirror now a days…
Is an image of an empty shell…
Brittle and dull worn down to the nub…
How could I have known that when we ended …
It ended it all..
I am but a fool lonesome fool…
Theres no truth in the history books …
Theres no peace in the abyss…
Those so called words of christ…
Are only that words …
No truth in them…
Simply words …
Empty prayers that shall never reach a dead ear…
Why even pray the end is already here…
If I am but a sinner then cast me to the sodomites…
Let me dwell in the realm of punishment…
Oh but I’m already here…
Punishment with no cause…
Empty promises of what begins the pain those words begin it all…
Blind…blinded by hate the fury escapes me…
I loose my self because no one is chasing me..
Life is this really a life …
Hated by all despised by everyone alike…
Puppets they are all of them..
Why cant they see as I see…
The lies buried in that book of lies …
Smaking them in the face right before their very eyes…
Mabey their right mabey I’ve lost my way…
Mabey it’s even that I’m blinded by hate and this rage…
Whatever it is I know one thing this cant be life …
So I must be deceased…
How can one hurt so much…
And yet no one and I mean no one …
Is there to help…
So who can I trust…
Misleading beliefs of a better world or life …
Tell that to me who crys day and night..
Show me this better life this new world…
My existence here is one of beaten and battered soul…
Alone ,frozen ,never to be shown or to shine…
A smack here and there ,a cut with a dull knife …
Seek happiness they say step into my world and show me they way I say…
If you can make it there then it might exist…
And mabey then I could believe that I am nothing more than a piece of shit…
There once was a time I new happiness seems like all so long ago…
When I was alive and believed i would live..
I don’t remember where I died but I’ve must have …
Because all I can do is cry…
A heart full of pain when I awake it’s the same. .
Hurt …
Its all I know now …
I don’t smile anymore. .
All I know is a frown…
I wish I could remember when I died…
I wish I new what I did to deserve what I find…
These voices that talk to me…
I wonder if it’s my family at the hospital…
Or mabey at my grave…
No wonder there distant and never make sense…
There always at a distance wow I was so unaware…
That must be what happened …….I…..I …died…
No wonder theres never any tears when I cry…
And the shadows that I believed were spirts or ghost are actually the living …
And Im here in spirt…
That would explain a lot I guess..
Other than I cant remember what I did…
How did this come to pass …
How did my life end when if I may ask…
I cant think right…I’m confused…
In a state of mental anguish…
My mind is defused …
I don’t understand ….I truly don’t …
But I do believe e ends on one note….
Today is the end…

This poem is about: 
Our world

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