Sometimes I feel as if I am transparent, my vulnerabilities and fears tattooed across my body, worry and wonder worry and wonder until my mind runs into circles of doubt, never ending, the rhythm of my heart beats in tune with this, the thump of a thousand queries never answered, the pain of invisible ailments, the terror of unknowable aissalants, and yet times of peace lurk in the shadows of my soul, convincing me that it is over, like a lull in crashing of waves, yet the roaring thunder of a new wave sucks me under and drowns me in my naive hope, no lifeboat, no harness, just my own weak shallow strokes, the gurgling sensation of salt water in my mouth, the metallic taste of memories locked in some impregnable chamber coming to light, the never ceasing sensation that pervades all of my thoughts and hopes, angst, perhaps, but more ominous the truth that it will continue until my flesh distorts into the fresh warm earth, i dream of an end to this pitiable, humiliating period, thump thum thump, worry wonder worry wonder