Internal Tears

Location

Cry

That word seems so familiar yet so foreign.

Tear drops

Do I have those to or did I ran out?

How long has it been since I last cried?

How long has it been since the tears that flowed from my eyes flooded my face?

It has been too long. 

The internal me wants to cry so much

but the external me has to stay strong so crying is not an option.

Smile

That is how I have been surviving until now. 

No matter the situation, I must smile because if I don't

then it will bring forth misery to others. 

Everyone else around me is already crying and in despair.

They need someone to look up to so I at least should stay strong.

By doing that, I am able to save others, but who will save me?

Is all of this scarifice worth it?

I don't know but that is how I am surviving. 

I am the sun that bring warmth to the people around me.

I am the sun that hides the moon.

The internal me hides behind the external me.

I can never show my weakness because that would bring darkness to the ones around me.

All I can do now is cry helplessly on the inside while I wait for help.

Tears are now flooding inside me.

I am drowning in my own tears.

My only hope is to wait for help.

Until then, I continue to wear this mask of happiness

and be the bright sun that brings warmth to everyone. 

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