by Ariel Douglas (16 October 2014)

 

I see you every day,

Acting how you do.

I hear the words you say,

Whoever you're talking to.

You talk loud,

You laugh at your own jokes.

All alone in a crowd,

Suddenly makes you choke.

I've felt the same a million times before,

But somehow you make me angry.

I point you toward the open door,

And demand you get away from me.

How can it be that I treat you this way?

Some sick retribution for treatment in the past?

How can every innocent word you say,

Get me fired up so fast?

Why is it that your very presence irks me?

Why does the thought of you roil hatred?

How come I refuse to see

Past the feeling of anger and being baited?

Your smirk makes me sick inside,

Your attitude makes me want to scream.

My detest is getting hard to hide,

Pressure is building and busting my seams.

You're such a liar, a coward, a cheat,

But as a sinful human you know nothing else.

So does that make you worse than me?

Knowing better but following myself?

I'm doing what you want from me,

Giving you satisfaction.

But that's not who I want to be,

I want to take a different action.

Returning love for hate,

And peace for turmoil.

I refuse to take the bait,

And am willing to get a little soiled.

If only I could remember how to love you,

Then maybe I would be able.

I know who I need to run to,

Held to Him on a cable.

But first I must accept that vengeance is His,

And get over my own desires to retaliate.

I must also remember this,

No matter what I go through He can relate.