If you’ve ever been on stage

I’m sure you know the feeling

Your heart racing so fast it could never keep the beat

Your mind racing too, thinking what could go wrong

The nerves spiraling around you like snakes with a poison

That’s dangerous, but you can escape

Because you’re not quite on stage yet

 

If you’ve ever been on stage

I’m sure you know the feeling

When you cross the threshold from backstage to onstage

When you go from invisibility to vulnerability

It almost feels like stepping into a different place and time

Like a refreshing, but scary, new start

 

If you’ve ever been on stage

I’m sure you know the feeling

Trying to take deep breaths

Locking eyes with the conductor to keep focus

Watching their hands fly, gracefully or intensely

Glancing around at the friends

With whom this harmony becomes possible

 

If you’ve ever been on stage

I’m sure you know the feeling

When you step back through that threshold

And you leave that time and space for now

It’s a mixture of relief and longing

As people congratulate you on your performance

And when you won’t perform with these people for a while

There will be tears and hugs

And the backstage rooms will be bustling with energy

As you prepare to leave everything that this has been behind

Because even though you crossed the threshold

You haven’t really left yet

 

If you’ve ever been on stage

I’m sure you know the feeling

When you’re thinking about the performance coming up soon

And though it terrifies you

All you want is to be on that stage again

With those people

 

That’s how I feel, you know

I’m about to go on stage, about to make music and memories

In just a few weeks

I’m still nervous, and my stomach is still like a knotted ball of yarn

But the yarn is still beautiful, still perfectly imperfect, still just as it needs to be

 

So when I get ready to go onstage

When I’m in sound checks that seem to last forever

And I’m trying to decide whether to put on makeup while trying to adjust my outfit

And I’m laughing and crying and feeling everything at once

I’m going to breathe, and turn any major fears into the little tiny jitters

The ones that make you feel even more excited than you did before

 

If you’ve ever been on stage

I’m sure you know the feeling

When you’re excited and calm and nervous and focused

And the emotions are running through you

And the conductor nods in approval

Or the audience gives you a standing ovation

Or you begin to perform your favorite piece, the one that gives you chills

And you realize you don’t really need all that fear

And really, you just had to rediscover the love

That made you step onto that stage in the first place