I'm Sorry I'm Just Lost.

Your mind craves a place so distant.

One that could be miles geographically 

or mentally.

either way no one really cares.

 

If there is anyone

who shows empathy

there is no expression

there is no effort.

 

Why do the people push on falling objects?

Why not reign them in?

Save a few of the forgotten.

Save the hopeless.

 

I want to look at the world.

I want to move to a place

I want to go to a place my mind has never been too.

I see distance and I hate myself for it.

 

I've pushed you away

in fear of hurting you only to realize 

I've cut a wound so deep

it feels impossible to heal.

 

I'm sorry I've let other experiences influence us.

I know you only want whats best.

I see your goals for me

but I've felt pain.

 

It's not your fault.

I'm just mourning a loss.

No one has gone but myself.

I let the best of me go and now im full of sorrow.

 

I cry tears for what seems like nothing

but the truth lies in my past.

incidents that seem ancient

creep in my mind and I feel them all the time.

 

I feel unwanted, used, and battered.

I'm hurt and destroyed.

I've had no one to tell in fear of your thougthts.

I have had no one to turn too.

 

My heart hurts

and my throat is sore from the lump I dare to realease.

I cry silently and handle this silently.

for no one understands my pain.

 

Nobody knows I'm still bothered.

I see a wall and the picture frames that ly by the fridge.

I see the room; I see everything.

I feel everything.

 

All over again everything is happening.

I feel the hurt, and distrust.

I feel the pain that runs through my veins like blocks of ice.

crushing every once of relief.

 

I see your face and know I can't say anything.

No one understands I'm still going through everything.

We took a broom and put it under a rug

but I still feel it.

 

I still see it everyday.

I feel the impact it had on me.

I can't stop the pain anymore.

I can't pretend.

 

My pleas have gone misheard

I don't mean to be rude

I'm just hurt from everything.

So please take it away.

 

And if maybe you find yourself ventured upon my thoughts

Please remember that I'm trying. Please see my pain.

I'm not an overcomer because I'm still overcoming.

I'm just lost.

 

Without direction I walk alone.

I have help but refuse to use it.

I hear your voice but play as you do mine.

I cry but continue walking.

 

As I left you behind I left myself.

I lost part of me and found myself wondering.

I hear the crickets within the dark forest.

I continue to walk anyway into my own troubles.

 

I keep walking forward

without a second thought until I've looked around

and I realize I'm alone.

I've placed myself in isolation.

 

I've made myself this way.

I'm lost without direction.

All I'm asking for is your recognition and I'm sorry

for being lost.

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