I'm so stuck

I.....I....I'm so stuck......no light...no reason...no life....no help. Let me stay in this black hole of hell...let me suffer....painfully...screaming till my last words and breathe is out cold........not even enough time for me to blink of a blink...Shed a tear.......sound...movement........ Just plain silence.....I would never let or even show my true feelings to ANYONE....I only show it to the one I truly trust...the stars and God.....I....I... They show me their pain and fairy tales and tales......their pain.....faces  their true identity and everything, so I show them mine as well....it's so much easier to talk to them...it's like talking to yourself...but I'm not they show me everything...they're my light...feeling and they make my eyes shimmer in the light reflecting of there hearts and souls......but they're all gone each time any cloud or light comes from below...making it hard for me to see.....I'm alone and left in the dark.....everything is still..............all of the living has gone.....everyone is broken and still.......no one shall be helped............everything is dark and low...but I have two sides in my head......a dark side and a light side. The light side is happy and everyone is smiling and nothing is going bad or death.....it's a very hard and truth battle I have in my life and head....mostly near my heart...it makes me want to tear myself into pieces and just end like that...those a two sides have been like that since that day I could remember when I had a sad mad angry face....on my face.....since that day I tried and tried to be happy....inside.........but never EVER will be the same....only from the outside.....................:3 death and destruction is inside corrupting my life and mind....even if I smile from the outside doesn't mean I'm happy and diddle dattling smiles in me....just plain stupid bitch I am......and yes I know I'm not but my dark death bad side says so and at the same time I know I'm not..................I wish to still not show my true feelings to anyone or anything.....only my friends and the stars and God.......and when I mean my friends I mean my animal and my personal things....or I draw it out as like I'm........drawing someone to talk to.............................I'll be alone from the inside of me but the out I'll be happy as eve................r....... *throws my head against the wall and scream* I'll just show you my pains and deathsity..... Cover half of my face so I wouldn't have to look at my sins and discussing ness of me......I go in the shadow and think of all the good and bad I should and shouldn't do or done........ My life is a very very very.....VERY.......odd and negative place to be....take all my darkness in me and scream all day till my suffers and death keeps on going and going forever till I can't stand it anymore.............I look down in my shames and Fear......................................................now someone just realized me that what is life.....what is the feeling of being free..............??????????? What is the meaning of being happy?????? Is it good???? Is it a feeling that completes you... In the human life way???????? Can this one feeling mean anything???? But in some times I realize I can't be sad forever...................but in my hearts can.....sadness will be within my soul and heart......but I'll promise not in my mind....I'll be thinking to keep my friends thinking happy and smiling.....I love it when my friends and living creatures are happy....makes me happy.................I got knocked out in my stomach by a fast football for my little cousins birthday party at the beach.....but it hurt but at the same time I loved it FEEL THE PAIN INSIDE OF ME HAHAHAHAHAH

Darkness doesn't need to keep you up....try to keep yourself up.....but eventually you fail....I.....I....I'm so stuck......no light...no reason...no life....no help. Let me stay in this black hole of hell...let me suffer....painfully...screaming till my last words and breathe is out cold........not even enough time for me to blink of a blink...Shed a tear.......sound...movement........ Just plain silence.....I would never let or even show my true feelings to ANYONE....I only show it to the one I truly trust...the stars and God.....I....I... They show me their pain and fairy tales and tales......their pain.....faces  their true identity and everything, so I show them mine as well....it's so much easier to talk to them...it's like talking to yourself...but I'm not they show me everything...they're my light...feeling and they make my eyes shimmer in the light reflecting of there hearts and souls......but they're all gone each time any cloud or light comes from below...making it hard for me to see.....I'm alone and left in the dark.....everything is still..............all of the living has gone.....everyone is broken and still.......no one shall be helped............everything is dark and low...but I have two sides in my head......a dark side and a light side. The light side is happy and everyone is smiling and nothing is going bad or death.....it's a very hard and truth battle I have in my life and head....mostly near my heart...it makes me want to tear myself into pieces and just end like that...those a two sides have been like that since that day I could remember when I had a sad mad angry face....on my face.....since that day I tried and tried to be happy....inside.........but never EVER will be the same....only from the outside.....................:3 death and destruction is inside corrupting my life and mind....even if I smile from the outside doesn't mean I'm happy and diddle dattling smiles in me....just plain stupid bitch I am......and yes I know I'm not but my dark death bad side says so and at the same time I know I'm not..................I wish to still not show my true feelings to anyone or anything.....only my friends and the stars and God.......and when I mean my friends I mean my animal and my personal things....or I draw it out as like I'm........drawing someone to talk to.............................I'll be alone from the inside of me but the out I'll be happy as eve................r....... *throws my head against the wall and scream* I'll just show you my pains and deathsity..... Cover half of my face so I wouldn't have to look at my sins and discussing ness of me......I go in the shadow and think of all the good and bad I should and shouldn't do or done........ My life is a very very very.....VERY.......odd and negative place to be....take all my darkness in me and scream all day till my suffers and death keeps on going and going forever till I can't stand it anymore.............I look down in my shames and Fear......................................................now someone just realized me that what is life.....what is the feeling of being free..............??????????? What is the meaning of being happy?????? Is it good???? Is it a feeling that completes you... In the human life way???????? Can this o e feeling mean anything???? But in some times I realize I can't be sad forever...................but in my hearts can.....sadness will be within my soul and heart......but I'll promise not in my mind....I'll be thinking to keep my friends thinking happy and smiling.....I love it when my friends and living creatures are happy....makes me happy................

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

197717

wow just wow!! that is very depressing

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