i'm sick of it
I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of lying awake
Staring at the ceiling
Listening to my demons scream things at me in my head
I’m sick of feeling pains in my wrists
Where blades once sat
Where tears once fell
I’m sick of having this lump in my throat
At four am
When liquid salt streams down my face and I don’t know why
I’m sick of not even trusting my close friends
Because for all I know
They could be lying to me just as the rest of the world has
I don’t want to doubt every word that comes out of the mouth
Of the only people I feel I can trust
I hate it I hate it I hate it
The person who slowly grew on me and became my best friend
Even if now the only thing we talk about is homework
The person I’ve known for three years
Who was the only one that would talk to me over the summer
The person whose been through what I have
Who I began to truly trust after only two months of a science class
The person who I know I can be loud with
Because she won’t judge me for who I pretend to be
The person that struck up a conversation with me
And wouldn’t leave me alone until we became friends
I’m sick of it.