I'm (Not) Sorry

When I write things, publish them, and they mention God,

I feel the need to apologize.

Why is that?

Why do I think twice before pressing "sumbit,"

Even if each word that I typed, I meant.

When did "Christian" become a bad word?

Why do we choke on it while damn, shit, and fuck are constantly heard

In hallways, on the streets, and heaven knows, in movies.

And why can you accuse me of looking down my nose as you look down your nose at me,

Call me a "hypocrite" without even knowing what I know, seeing what I see?

The truth is, some Christians are messed up.

Hypocritical, self-righteous, the whole sterotype mess.

But you can't rightly call us "judgemental" while you judge us in the same breath,

   Can you?

Yes, many Christians are messed up. We've done terrible things.

In the name of holiness, condemnation do we often bring.

And there is nothing I can do to right the list of wrongs,

I am helpless; the list is just too long.

Because see, the problem with Christians, is that we're human.

Selfishness, greed, lying; we share the same sins.

We're messed up.

But our testimony isn't that we get it all right,

Because a God who forgave perfect people wouldn't need much might.

We screw it up. Over and over and over and over. Perpetually foiling His perfect plan,

And the beautiful part is that he still loves us, holds us protectively in his hand.

 

We don't have the answers.

I'm sorry, I wish we did.

This is all I can tell you: God is ours, and we are his.

We hurt people. Often.

I'm sorry, I wish it weren't true.

But getting "saved" doesn't mean you always know the right thing to do.

We act like we've got it together,

I'm sorry, I know that's a lie,

But it's part of the "Christian" game, and so we all have to try,

Yes, often we're Sunday Christians,

I'm sorry we forget God all the other days,

But as has probably happened to you, life has a tendency ro get in the way.

I'm sorry we lie and cheat and steal and judge,

I'm sorry that when you hear "Christian" you think of some white guy who never has enough.

I'm sorry for the way that we've let you down,

And those who claim "Christ" have still lied and cheated, even raped, as I'm sure you've found.

I'm sorry for all these things, and many, many more;

But I can't change the past, I can't even the score.

 

Now, living under the stereotype "Christian" is rough.

It's like living with all eyes watching, just waiting for you to screw up.

And when you do (which you will),

There are people there to point out just how far you fell.

   And that sucks.

 

I'm a Christian,

And though I don't always like to say that,

I'm not sorry about it.

I'm not sorry that I handed my life over to a being I can't see or touch or find,

I'm not sorry that I believe in a God whom I can't scientifically define,

I'm not sorry that Jesus is my Lord; I'll love him until the end,

I'm not sorry that I call the Creator of all that is my friend.

I'm not sorry for my teacher's words, that I believe they're more than stories,

I'm not sorry that His parables were (and are) sometimes taken offensively.

 

I don't know everything,

In fact, I don't know much at all.

I don't know how He made the earth,

What he thinks about the US today,

Or whether He would back gay marriage,

But, for what it's worth,

I believe that there's a God out there,

And I'd like to think that we're more than pawns; I think he really cares,

I think that Jesus came down to love, and show us that life is about more than power and money.

I believe that He is the Son of God.

And for that,

I'm not sorry.

 

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741