"Live," I demanded of him.

"Love and live.

That's all you can do.

That's all any of us have."

and so he did.

with me, of all people.

he did and, god,

he was so beautiful,

so much more beautiful

alive than he ever thought

he would be dead.

"Live." He demanded of me.

and so I did. I tried.

with him, of course.

I tried but, god,

it wasn't beautiful enough,

wasn't beautiful enough to him.

and so I stood watching

as he soared, leaped, 

cried, lived, ached, burned,

laughed, everything into the sky,

without me

stood wishing this cold, stiff,

unforgivable ground would

open up and

swallow me whole

already.