Ignorance is bliss. I was ignorant about myself. I hadn't realized how much I’d grown. I hadn't realized how much boys were staring. Until one of them asked for pictures. Asked if I took clothes off. I liked him and I thought he liked me. I was ignorant. I knew he was a bad guy but I still cried. I cried over him. I got over it but was no longer ignorant. I now knew what people focused on when they saw me. What people saw when they thought of me. I feel trapped and bare and empty sometimes. But I am no longer ignorant. Ignorance was bliss. Boys continued to ask for pictures and I continued to feel worse. Honestly I liked the attention sometimes but most of the time I wish I hadn’t grown so much. My friends say they're jealous, but I am more jealous of them. People, boys especially see them for them. A boy would like them for their personality not anything else. That's how I think now. Wishing I was flat. Hoping for the world to change but a voice in the back of my head telling me it will only get worse. Boys will get stronger and I will grow more. Boys will see one thing and I will suffer. Why will I suffer for something I can't control? Why will I cry time and time again for something I can’t control. Why can’t I wear what I want without getting tormented and being called a slut. Why can’t people control themselves. Why can’t I wear endless layers of clothes so that no one would ever get to the last layer. Why cant I stop thinking. Ignorance was bliss. I was innocent and ignorant and I miss it but will never get it back. I am being forced to live in a world where everyone's priorities are backwards and no one can control themselves. People will cry and complain but never feel this pain. They won't understand. Boys won't Ever understand. I often think of the boys asking for pictures growing up and having daughters of their own. Beating the boys who asked the same questions they did when they were the same age. Forgetting how many girls they hurt. Boys are the most ignorant. And ignorance is bliss so why not be ignorant? They can be but I no longer can. For if I was still ignorant bad things would happen. Dear god ignorance was bliss.
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