Snowflakes spinning 'round as I reflect upon my year
New adventures from going far,
And losing those whom I hold dear
Pain blooms forward
But that is not the only coloring of the rose
Stop and smell the flowers
Notice that not all are afflicted with thorns
Far away from home, for longer than I've ever been
No matter how difficult,
I can't let the harrowing stress win.
Do you know the chaos of application?
To leave those you love behind?
For a pathway, life, of sorts,
That you've told you must follow,
since about the age of nine?
A completely different world than the one I left behind.
I am still a foreign alien in all lands except my mind.
Coping with diagnoses
Of autism, anxiety, depression;
Dealing with my first quarter of college, and trudging my way through,
Refusing to give up...
That is my mission.
Take a deep breath, stay determined!
Those applications are not as hard as the seem.
Even though some days you pull your hair out doing your homework,
And going home feels like nothing more than a dream.
But I made it. To a point I once thought I wouldn't
But this time, I am glad to be proven wrong.
I lived and didn't give in to the monster in my mind
I graduated high school, and could leave the pain and bullying behind.
I could bloom forth, as the me I am meant to be.
I overcame challenges, yet, what defined this year for me?
Was it toothsome food that satiated my palate?
Or was it laughing at the online mountebanks trying to use charm to pull off scams,
Through their junk emails full of obvious lies?
Was it coming to terms with myself?
My sexuality and gender? That was a long time coming, and honestly,
when it comes to what has occurred this year- not a big contender.
The presidential election, the first in which I was able to vote-
Terrified me so much that it ramped up cortisol production,
Weakening my immune system, making me sick for a week-
I have no scapegoat.
I learned the importance of family.
Strangest, though, is that I learned these lessons through a videogame.
Yet it seems to be the Yin to the Yang of the wars and violence taught in school.
I learned more than I thought I could,
But am still far from being a fount of knowledge.
Poems give me freedom from the drudgery of life,
Without needs of substances that lead to intoxication,
Without need of being on the cusp of the illegal.
Emotions in a full spectrum, as I had previously forgotten how to feel.
In the end, how could any and all of this be real?
And that, you see,
Is all I have to say about this year and me.
So to 2016 I bid adieu,
And to 2017? I welcome you.