the feeling of coming so close to death

was exhilarating

the rush of finally dying

with my mind empty of hesitance

my body scared but prepared to end it all

was so amazing

it was so great that i had to tell someone

someone who couldn’t do anything but just sit and watch

repeating over and over, “it’s not worth it!”

just so i can ignore their pitiful cries 

but, the good side of me had to get in the way

they had to tell my mother about it

she just HAD to take that pill bottle away

oh well, no matter

im already set on ending it all anyway

i WILL find a way