I wanted to love you.

I wanted to love you, but I was constantly told, "No. You cannot love him until you learn to love yourself 100 percent," and truth be told I was like 98 percent capable of doing that, but fuck it i had so much love to give anyway and

I wanted to love you, because I felt as though you were my match and it was stricken. Yo, listen. From failed relationships to failed attempts at relationships, I just thought maybe it was you my soul was missin'

I wanted to love you, but I was afraid you wouldn't love me back.

I wanted to love you and it was taking me a while to feel comfortable and settle in. Kind of like the oil paintings on your canvases, you know? Seeping in slowly, permanently becoming used to you. I just wanted to be your muse.

I wanted to love you like our slow dances at two A.M. to Vandross, and Soulchild, and ooh child

I wanted to love you better than your old things claimed they did.

I wanted to love you something original, uncut, uncommon. Through tangle-legged afternoon naps while basking in sounds of Common, and Sade, and Badu, and you?

I wanted to love you so I could tell the whole damn world about it. See, you were like a breath of fresh air, but I'm so used to the shit being polluted, and I trusted you 'cause no one sparked my interest the way you did. I let them in once or twice, but they done took my heart, chopped and screwed it, and baby you know how many times this destination to Mr. Right has been rerouted?

Even dudes who've told me I'd never be enough, and that no one would ever want me were aware that I wanted to love you greater than the pain that made me feel like I would never be able to love again.

I wanted to love you 'til you ran my mind at four in the morning to inspire more poetry in the depths of my heart.

I wanted to love you freely allowing you to see the details of the growing spirit, my admiration palpable.

I wanted to love you in ways unexplainable. If you only knew the plans I had for you.

I wanted to love you in slow motion as if I owned time. Time that got wasted once more, time that I simply wanted to spend with you, time that tick tick ticked until everything blew up in my face and it's sad 'cause...

I wanted to love you the minute I thought I'd found my best friend.

I wanted to love you liek rehearsing more bars from Children's Story and La Di Da Di together...or Mona Lisa. Sharing laughter and beat boxing over boxes of pizza. And what's the unit smaller than a nanosecond? Because even those weren't gone unnoticed when I was with you, but only overanalyzed because I wanted to love you...

Like those nights of movies and midnight snacks, and you were my favorite midnight snack, but I shouldn't have indulged in you. I mean I did, but I couldn't help it, because

I really, really, really wanted to love you

But...I've learned that just because you love somebody or even want to doesn't mean that they will do the same. No one owes you shit, and they aren't obligated to feel the way you do.