I want a REAL man
One that will fix the shit I break
And reach things that I can't
Mow the lawn so I don't have to
Fucking take out the trash
Because that shit sucks

One that won't talk to me about his dumps
And treat me like a princess
Who will open my damn door
And take me out to a nice dinner
A man who won't tell me to txt him when I call
With a profession besides douche-mastery

A guy who won't mind my obsession with my cat
Or my love for all things that sparkle
One who will build some shit
Like a shoe rack for my 34 pairs of shoes?
Hell, a man who would buy me shoes
And like the smell of nail polish

You know what?
I just want a fucking gentleman
Which is impossible because chivalry is dead
Where are all the real men hiding?
Cuz I sure as shit can't find you guys
And your species is becoming extinct