Preschool was easy,

Kids dressed in plaid,

Struggling only with the idea

That their Mommy might get mad.

Elementary school was fine,

Little girls still wearing pig tails,

No one yet wearing makeup

To cover the bully's tells.

Middle school was hard,

With just a few friends

Who left you to eat in the bathroom

And think it's “just around the riverbend.”

But the “riverbend” twisted too much

And high school appeared,

A lot of crowded hallways,

Your gay friends all had beards.

Then you realized that Disney,

Your forever best friend

Could no longer solve the problem

Because the problems never end.

Then came time for college.

Should you choose to go or stay?

There's only so many times you can watch Barbie: Swan Lake

Before you have to dance your heart out to make an A.

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