I Think She Fakes Her Pain


Throughout the strains, pulls, pinches

Pains and cringes,

I live through it.


Alarm rings.

Right leg over left,

Routine sounds of bubble wrap commence.

Repeat the left leg over right.

She is now ready to rise from bed.


Stand up, stretch. Arms in front,

pretending as if someone is there to separate my spine for me.

Now it’s down to the bathroom. Pop some pills,

 slap on some patches… She told me the pain is unbearable today.


Massage my upper back muscles with both hands who feel like slaves,

Roll my neck out a few times, if found lucky I hear more bubble wrap.

This can’t be healthy.


 I Make my way into school with her to just sit at a desk all day

Aggravating her even more. I can’t concentrate on my work.

She screams at me, wanting to lay down; that’s all she wants.




School concludes and the first job begins.

“Can we please go home?” she asks me; little she knows it’s a Wednesday.

We have two jobs today, twice the bending, twice the twisting, twice the jumping

Twice the pain.


It’s 7pm. The patches have come off,

The pills wore off,

The pain increased.


“Can we go on the massage chair? How about a nice hot shower?”

The water is useless and the chair kept rubbing on her curved center.


We go to Jiu-Jitsu. People push, pull, tug,

Throw and make her pop. They know she isn’t feeling good.

 They proceed in their paths anyway to impress the Soke.

He looks at me with disapproval. “she’s a second degree black belt,

Why is she not trying as hard as everyone else?”


We go home, I attempt to manipulate my spine for the thirtieth time today.

She’s overworked.


I slap on some more patches and pop some more pills Just to sleep.

As I’m drifting off into a painless dream, she thanks me.

 I tell her it’s not her fault as I hope to escape her any second.

I know I will deal with her tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and on the day I die.

I am only seventeen and can’t imagine what the future holds, but I will live through it.

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