I wonder, why don't teachers ever teach self love in school?
Why don't they teach us self worth, self wonder, persistence and humility?
The things that have now become the difference between life,
When we are on our death beds, we will not remember
that we successfully passed Algebra during high school
or the agony in our legs walking up the stairs to the second and third floors.
We won't even acknowledge the people who made high school a free ride to hell.
Who cussed and screamed detrimental things
or imperiled us via internet.
We won't remember the long walks home
Shuffling and crunching our feet in the red and yellow leaves during October
We will remember the way we felt in those moments
The painful thought of wanting to die every day
Feeling insubstantial, imperceptible, vulnerable and worthless.
And thinking about the future.
Not as an opportunity to grow and blossom and continue on with life,
Like the more fortunate ones,
The people who are not bullied.
But instead thinking about how we would do anything to stop the future from occurring.
We will remember the person we once were when we were young.
Lighthearted, invincible, blissfully ignorant, and vivacious.
We will remember the person we have become.
Petrified, uptight, abandoned, and foreboding.
We will wish it had happened differently.
That someone brave would stand up for us and maybe we'd magically become happy
That maybe all we needed was something that no one ever bothered to give to us
Like the people in the movies, or the books always did.
But this is no movie. Life is no fairytale. There is no second chances.
And not everyone can win.
Some will have to lose.
And those that lose will be the ones paying, so that the ones who win can achieve selfish, ignorant, happiness.
Because no one ever really thinks about the ones who will lose
Until the ones who will lose become the ones that the world has lost.
And so I ask,
Why are the people who hold seminars about bullying not doing anything directly?
Why are they telling everyone else to stand up for the teen when everyone else is to worried about themselves?
Everyone always asks, “Why don't you do it?”
Ah, that is the question.
Well teachers. Why don't you?