I once loved the way you made me feel

Like I was soaring through an endless cloud of possibility and opportunity 

Almost as though gravity itself couldn't pull me back down to the world I've grown to fear

A world who couldn't no wouldn't accept me as is

A world who spit at the mear mention of my name as though I disgraced it in some way

Full of anguish and dispair with no room for hope of faith

People walk as though impaired with a fake smile on their face

Never daring to show the tears that lied behind their now vacant eyes

Vacant of any joy or happiness for they live in a constant state of denial

I use to be one of those mindless dromes until my love for you gave me wings

 

I once loved the things you promised me

Promises of untold riches and happiness for as long as I lived

Someone whom I could love and call my own

Who was once like me but learned to break free from the thing she called life

To learn what it truly meant to live

Success for the whole world to see

The same world who once spit on my name will now lift me up in praise

Begging for forgiveness for not accepting and loving me before 

The same arms that pushed me away will now welcome me with a warm imbrace

I use to be that heartless zombie pushing away the unknown 

Even if that unknown were my own feelings and desires

Until my love for you opened up my mind and told me it was okay to feel the way I felt

 

I once loved you because of the things you made me forget

Memories of hands evading my body like nails on a chalk board

Lips caressing my skin like sandpaper on steel pans

Eyes undressing me as though I were a stripper and not a seven year old girl

Fear of looking into a mirror and seeing the beast his love turned me into

Hot running water turning red like crimson from the blood of my veins

The feeling of hot lava on my skin from scrumbing my body as a last hope to make myself clean

Fully knowing I'll never feel clean again

I use to feel pain and suffering with every breath of air wishing the next would be my last

Until my love for you wipped me of any feeling what so ever

 

I once loved you until I realized our love was one sided

You gave me hope for a better life but never told me there was a price tag on it

The wings were so I could fly away from the one who would love me back

You promised me untold riches for as long as I lived

But never promised an eternity because that wasn't yours to give

You told me it was okay to feel the way I felt

But yet you failed to mention the way I felt was wrong, which is actually biblically supported

You took away my memories so I wouldn't have to feel

But sometimes that pain is needed because it reminds us that we're real

So now I'm numb to the world around me and to the only one who ever really cared

I guess it serves me right because instead of running to God I decided to have the devil's love affair