I love

so hard

i can barely feel 

my feet

buried in

this arctic sand

between my toes

sand so cold

sucking me in

Where I barely

can breathe

i love

so much

it is a warzone

missiles soaring

straight to 

my aching heart

and shattering it whole

making me 

believe

you are good

that you are 

special

unique

Deserving of love

and that i

need to 

give you a chance

because good things

for you

dont come often

then I did

then you took

full advantage

of me

of family

of kindness

of soul

you destroyed them all

and I cannot

forgive you

for that

you broke me

and I have to carry 

pieces of you

with me

each day

you are the death of me

you wasted me 

you made me sick 

of who I am and was

but I love

to no end 

no thanks to you