I wish I could stop.

It’s getting too overwhelming.

This uncertainty about where I really stand with you is getting old.

It’s consuming my thoughts and I hate it.

 

I hate how much I want you to be mine.

You’ve made it clear that you don’t like me in that way.

You’ve made it clear that you just want to be friends.

I hate how mind keeps trying to convince itself that you want to be more than friends.

I hate how much I love looking into your ocean blue eyes.

How I could stare into them for hours and never get bored.

I hate how giddy I get when you talk to me.

 

This is becoming too much to bear.

It hurts to think about it.

It’s like a stab in the heart.

Painful. Agonizing. Torturous.

And, like a stab in the heart, once it gets past a certain point…. it’s too late.

I’m past the point of no return and it would take a miracle to fix my unnecessary broken heart.

 

I’ve tried so hard to forget about this pointless infatuation I have for you.

To put it behind me and stop giving my emotions to someone who, in the end, I know doesn’t deserve them.

My trying and trying has come up dry.

All I get is more emotional turmoil.

Everything about you causes this turmoil to grow worse and worse.

 

How mesmerizing your eyes are.

How the blue in them seems to take me to a place I still cannot understand.

How your voice captivates me as I try to keep my admiration hidden.

How your blonde hair moves in its natural ways that drive me insane.

How that cute little smile finds its way across your face when you get embarrassed.

Everything.

Every little quirk.

Every detail of your personality.

It all helps you cause me unintentional heartbreak.

 

I know you don’t mean it.

I know you never wanted to hurt me as much as you have.

You don’t even know that you’ve caused me any pain at all.

And that’s the worst part.

You can’t stop because you don’t know what you’re doing.

 

I can never let you find out this emotional pain I’ve been going through, though.

I care about you.

 I never want to make you feel any guilt about this whole situation.

You didn’t ask for any of this.

It isn’t fair to you.

I don’t ever want anything to happen that would cause that cute little smile I love so much to fade away.

 

No matter what happens between me and you, I think I’ll always care about you to some degree.

I will always want what is best for you and your well-being.