I Just Need to Stay Strong

I used to bear my heart to the world

 

I shared everything

 

Spilled my heart to open ears

 

I believed it when I heard

 

That talking resolved things

 

I quickly learned, however

 

That people don’t care

 

about other people’s problems

 

So instead of being an open book

 

I just kept my nose buried in them

 

My favorites included heroins

 

Women who didn’t care what others thought

 

Were self reliant and who commonly

 

kept their feelings to themselves

 

They never whined or complained

 

So others saw them as strong

 

independent leaders to look up to

 

So I told myself that’s what I wanted to be

 

I decided I should train myself

 

to go against my instincts

 

Everytime I ached to spill my woes

 

I swallowed them instead

 

It was so difficult at first

 

But then I started to like it

 

Dealing with my problems by myself

 

made me feel smarter than the rest

 

I would still listen to the girls

 

who felt they needed someone to talk to

 

but now I felt superior to them

 

They needed me

 

a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on

 

But I needed no one

 

and that made me stronger

 

smarter and tougher than them

 

But one night I was stripped of that

 

Someone took all that away

 

Made me feel weak and scared

 

Used and violated

 

But I was strong and tough

 

No one could hurt me

 

That’s the girl everyone knew me as

 

I couldn’t bear to change that

 

So I swallowed those feelings too

 

But this time

 

They didn’t go down as easily

 

I found that rum and whiskey

 

Made it a bit easier

 

So that was me now

 

I was still tough and strong

 

independent and self reliant

 

I still didn’t need anyone

 

All I needed was a couple shots

 

So I could swallow the feelings

 

Until it happened again

 

One of my best friends

 

But I’m tough and strong

 

And even after what he did

 

I don’t want people to hate him

 

I can deal with it on my own

 

So I just need

 

to keep pushing the feelings down

 

Then I will keep being strong

 

Then they will keep seeing me as strong

 

And if I’m strong,

 

it can’t hurt me anyways

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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