I Hope You Never See This

The music blasts and the crowd is silent

The music ends and the crowd cheers

And the winner is....

Me.

It felt like dream

Like it wasn't even real

It's hard to believe

I couldn't really feel

the feeling of winning, 

I saw your face and my mind started spinning

you know the thing that it does when I'm lost in a thought

and the thought takes control and makes me lose my mind.

Then... it's harder to find the reason behind why I go insane every single time

that I,

see you smile or see you laugh,

not because it's bad, but because it kind of makes me sad that

you look like you have the world in your hands without me to stand on.

Sometimes I just want to hold your hand...

Sorry that was off track

Let me get back to the meaning of it all

the fall of our hearts

our hearts in the fall

mine is lost until you call my name.

Keep me sane, I know I'm selfish

I want you all for myself, but really can you blame me?

You're the only one who's ever changed me.

For the better at least.

Remember a couple years ago?

Remember when I called you angel?

Well now I wonder if I'll love you so much that I'll fucking hate you.

Excuse my language, I don't typically write that way

I just figured I need a change of pace

to keep you entertained.

I gave you everything.

You gave it right....

Why do I even bother?

If you really read my poetry then tell me you do.

If you've gotten this far, then I'll take you even farther.

Tell me if you can hear me,

you know who you are

the scars on my heart are proof that this is pointless.

By now you probably hate me,

you hate this poem,

and you're calling me a fucking baby,

And if you are then tell me,

if you hate me then I'm sorry this is what became of me

I don't want to lose my best friend,

It's a scary thought, but we haven't even talked since back then

about a week ago.

You know when I told you everything for real this time,

and then you tried to set me back in line,

and I think you're still trying,

but honestly if I let you then we'd both be lying

because we'd say it isn't there, even if it's just from my side.

But really tell me if you read this.

Tell me how you feel the real truth.

Now you know I mean it

I kind of thought you knew.

Don't worry no one sees it

You know it's fucking true.

I hope you never see this

but I kind of hope you do.

This poem is about: 
Me

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