I hear in my mind

Location

"I hear in my mind.....all these voices

I hear in my mind....all these words

And it breaks my heart,

And it breaks…

my..

       heart...."

 

No.

To be frank,

The voices have long since packed their bags and left

They have been exiled to an unknown island

Known as never land

I wrote them off a long time ago as unworthy

So in order to create my own form of man made headphones

To blockade the stream of opinions that came in all at once,

I

Just

Stopped.....

Listening.

With each prick of a word that comes,

My ears bleed

As I quickly

Rashly,

Shove them back in,

They don't even have time to plan an escape through my mouth

As I bite down hard on my tongue

Prison.

 

They are there.

I feel them.

Like a dam,

They're constantly pushing,

Pushing to be confronted,

Pushing to be heard

Felt.

They push and cause mental headaches

But to me,

They

Do

Not

Exist.

 

I cringe in refute

And shudder as I gulp down a tall glass of reality check that has been fabricated with

I do not believe in reality

What the fuck is life?

Like really,

What the fuck is life?

 

I do not want these thoughts so I run,

I run through the hallowed out corridors of my mind

And share my past with strangers,

Hoping that swimming within its currents will keep me from confronting the future that is forcefully pushing at my doors.

 

Within this blockade,

There is no room for the voice of reason,

He has been stifled by the many that have surged about and plotted my demise

Along with the darkened hole I reside in

 

It's funny really.

I have artistically

Built a home within myself

Fit with a bed and a bath

To house my being,

Along with the voices that I choose to never confront

 

What the fuck?

Like what the fucking fuck?

 

I sit and stare at this house

This house that become me,

Imprisoned,

Me, this house.

 

The future is nowhere here nor there,

I am still crippled by the sound fire that lingers within my chest

 

Nothing is felt.

What the fucking fuck?

Begone

 

Begone

Begone....

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741