The strength is leaving my body;

I hear the beating of my heart.

Nothing

Is the same, yet

Nothing

Has changed.

 

My pulse thumps differently

Than the expansions in my lungs.

Ragged breaths.

Deep draws

Of this thing called

Air.

 

I hear the beating of my heart.

My muscles shout in agony,

My mind screams with confusion.

 

The bruises

Are yours.

My knees collapse.

 

It’s not okay.

I shout without words

That it never was.

 

My eyes reveal

That they are

Exhausted.

 

My hands shakily prove

That they are

Nervous.

 

The opposition shouts against my heart.

Animalistic,

Primitive,

Is my sense of self.

 

Does time heal all

Wounds?

 

Is it okay

Not to be okay?

 

Is it acceptable

To be weak inside?

 

I ought not to show the pain I feel.

I must not reveal

That I am

Broken.

 

I cannot show

That my heart is torn,

And I cannot

Affirm to others

That you are gone from my world.

 

And yet,

It’s time I betray

All instincts.

 

My eyes lift.

In them,

Is hope.

In them,

Is power.

 

I must survive.

I must

Reach,

Push,

Exist,

Live,

Be.

 

I must heal.

 

I am me.

Regardless of you.

 

You’ve given me

Strength.

 

Now strength is what I will give

 

To you.