I hate Christmas

I hate Christmas; it’s the worst day of my life

Every single year I go into a deep depression

Christmas is with kids, a father and his wife.

But there’s something I’m holding back, a great suppression.


My dad is dead, what’s there to celebrate?

Celebrate the incompletion of my family?

Celebrate the tears rolling down my face, they don’t even hesitate

All I want to do is ball up and scream out words of profanity.


A big dinner without my dad is just a giant gap

I don’t even bother to buy a Christmas tree

I think I’m fine till the 25th hits with my emotional relapse

Seeing my dad give me a hug and telling me how much he loves me.


I haven’t had that feeling in over nine years

I just want to see him one more time.

I don’t believe in Santa nor his Christmas cheers

All his so called wishes, I pay no mind.


I can’t even turn on the TV

All these happy families wishing each other Merry Christmas

Makes me sick to my stomach and all I’m thinking is why me

Why couldn’t I have been the one with the illness


But instead it was my dad, I don’t believe in celebrating holidays

I’m left alone, always, wishing my thoughts would go away

Wanted to run away from the pain but I can’t

… I am lonely inside. 


MVP-Most Valuable Poet

very sad to hear about your dad

can imagine what that day feels like when it approaches

keep his spirits by doing the things he would want you to do

great poem, very reflective

keep building

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