I hate Christmas
I hate Christmas; it’s the worst day of my life
Every single year I go into a deep depression
Christmas is with kids, a father and his wife.
But there’s something I’m holding back, a great suppression.
My dad is dead, what’s there to celebrate?
Celebrate the incompletion of my family?
Celebrate the tears rolling down my face, they don’t even hesitate
All I want to do is ball up and scream out words of profanity.
A big dinner without my dad is just a giant gap
I don’t even bother to buy a Christmas tree
I think I’m fine till the 25th hits with my emotional relapse
Seeing my dad give me a hug and telling me how much he loves me.
I haven’t had that feeling in over nine years
I just want to see him one more time.
I don’t believe in Santa nor his Christmas cheers
All his so called wishes, I pay no mind.
I can’t even turn on the TV
All these happy families wishing each other Merry Christmas
Makes me sick to my stomach and all I’m thinking is why me
Why couldn’t I have been the one with the illness
But instead it was my dad, I don’t believe in celebrating holidays
I’m left alone, always, wishing my thoughts would go away
Wanted to run away from the pain but I can’t
… I am lonely inside.