I do it all for you

Crystal Akidi

1/24/2018

    I know it’s not intentional, but the pressure you give me consumes me. You tell me I need to be perfect, but that's something I could never be. As the oldest child, I have to set a good example for my brothers. The pressure you give them doesn't compare to the pressure you give me. I know why you push me so hard, but it mirthlessly causes me anxiety. At the end of the day, I’m thankful for your pressure because it will mimic the pressure of the future world that I need to be successful in. As for now the pressure depletes me.

    My back hurts. your back hurts too. Everything you do, no matter your medical condition, is for us. I do everything to try to set a good example for chase and chiemeka, but most especially, I do it for you. You came to this country with dreams and higher hopes in your mind, and somehow they didn’t come true. You fought to be here to give us a better life and a chance to be successful; now I carry two AP books in my backpack every day, and my back hurts. You go to work every single day bending down doing what your body can’t do anymore, so your back hurts too. My conscience tells me i’m not smart enough, but there's no way I could ever use that as an excuse for giving up even with your constant anxiety. Being the oldest child, I have to show you that i’m grateful for your struggle; therefore, I read every night to expand my mind, so I can expand the chances of being successful in the feature. The books I carry on my back cause me back problems, and your job causes you back problems, but these books are not a problem they’re our solutions for what you couldn't be and what I need to work hard to be. If I work hard enough, you will never have to work again, and your back will stop hurting, but my back has to keep hurting until I make something of myself then your backs will stop hurting, but until then, i'll carry these books everyday, and my back aces will pay off for the both of us.

 

This poem is about: 
My family
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