I Closed The Door

I Closed the Door 


I have to admit the space is nice, 
not having to talk about my life 
or look people in the eye when  
I need to cry , 
I just want to be  myself without  
someone telling how I should be, 
I feel too naked around a big crowd 
why everyone looks down on me 
because I want let them live out  
my dreams , 
I just want to hide behind  
Run with the wind were every one 
Stop looking at all the scars and 
Pains that they all given to me , 
I want to run free from all of this mess 
I've made a nice big bed to lie in like 
my mother always said , 
though of emptiness and lost dreams 
came from family , 
honestly I want to make them all live 
me a lone and let me live my own life  
let them live theirs , 
I don't want to speak to you don't be  
so confused you know what you all do 
Is lie give so much shame and blame  
of the mess you all made , 
then you come home and try to still  
at my soul another time with your nasty lies 
you made in the night , 
there’s nothing to say , 
so get away I will no longer let you shame  
my name and give me all your blames  
I want to live my own life so give it back, 
when it was once too hard for me to say No  
I when to say yes for all my dreams to come true 
without you living my life for me , 
move on and set me free , 
It’s too easy to fall back in the trap they all set out  
for me to fall in , back into old way  
who are you to tell me what to do , 

I am the one that made you look good, 
move on I'm already out the door, 
I must remind myself all the reasons  
for letting go and moving on, 
in my weaker moments I cry out to my God 
I keep knocking on his door, 

I can’t keep myself looking back of 
all the pain everyone

I trusted given me, 
looking back, hoping to find something good 
I may had left behind all

I found was hopeless 
emptiness and so much pain, 
dyeing out in the cold rain, 
I’m still holding on to me and my own name  
I don’t know why everyone had done this  
to me but no more

the door is closed behind me 
I set my life on happiness. 


Poetic Judy Emery © 1990


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