I Closed The Door
I Closed the Door
I have to admit the space is nice,
not having to talk about my life
or look people in the eye when
I need to cry ,
I just want to be myself without
someone telling how I should be,
I feel too naked around a big crowd
why everyone looks down on me
because I want let them live out
my dreams ,
I just want to hide behind
Run with the wind were every one
Stop looking at all the scars and
Pains that they all given to me ,
I want to run free from all of this mess
I've made a nice big bed to lie in like
my mother always said ,
though of emptiness and lost dreams
came from family ,
honestly I want to make them all live
me a lone and let me live my own life
let them live theirs ,
I don't want to speak to you don't be
so confused you know what you all do
Is lie give so much shame and blame
of the mess you all made ,
then you come home and try to still
at my soul another time with your nasty lies
you made in the night ,
there’s nothing to say ,
so get away I will no longer let you shame
my name and give me all your blames
I want to live my own life so give it back,
when it was once too hard for me to say No
I when to say yes for all my dreams to come true
without you living my life for me ,
move on and set me free ,
It’s too easy to fall back in the trap they all set out
for me to fall in , back into old way
who are you to tell me what to do ,
I am the one that made you look good,
move on I'm already out the door,
I must remind myself all the reasons
for letting go and moving on,
in my weaker moments I cry out to my God
I keep knocking on his door,
I can’t keep myself looking back of
all the pain everyone
I trusted given me,
looking back, hoping to find something good
I may had left behind all
I found was hopeless
emptiness and so much pain,
dyeing out in the cold rain,
I’m still holding on to me and my own name
I don’t know why everyone had done this
to me but no more
the door is closed behind me
I set my life on happiness.
Poetic Judy Emery © 1990