On the outside I seem

the same as you,

but peel away the plastered on grin

and you'll find that

out of sight of watching eyes,

I am anything but sane.

 

My mind is termoil,

a hot bed of self-critique and terror.

My thoughts find disaster

in every little thing I do, even

during the most joyous of times.

 

Underneath the facade,

you'll find a brain full of questions:

"What if I didn't bother today?"

"What if I could just take a chance

without fear of judgement?"

 

The version of myself I flaunt on the streets

is how society has taught me to be.

The result is only greater destruction on my soul

when at last I escape to the shadows and am free.

 

This is the true me,

a bundle of nerves, paranoia, and sadness.

This is me

and you are the only one

to ever see past all my lies.

So please be careful with me.