I Am Young, or The Teenaged Condition


United States
43° 0' 31.8816" N, 71° 26' 51.8892" W

I am young.
Thinking more of girls, than of grades,
I take the time to ponder lips of pink-ish red, soft and moist,
Glossed with the scent and color of strawberries,
With curvaceous beauty, with supple sensitivity.
Though I really should mind my grades, which fall with a thud, low and dismal,
Wounded by an arrow of distraction and laziness.
They reach to escape the darkness, race to catch up, reach out for help,
But ultimately failing to impress, instead grasping empty blackness.

I am young.
I am immature, I am naïve,
I am somewhere between pleasant optimist and troubling pessimist,
But far too far off to be called a realist.
I try to balance these forces, but wind up far from the truth.

I am young.
I know nothing of the world or of myself, but I need to decide my future at the age of 17.
My father looks over a cup of steam, dark and swirling,
He stops to think, letting seconds pass, bringing the future closer, then lets out his wisdom,
“You don’t need to have your entire life decided, just keep doors open,”
But how can I keep the doors open
When all I find myself occupied with are girls and games?
I should be listening to the scratch of a pen,
But instead I fill my ears with the bang of virtual battles and the soft sounds of her laugh,
I should hear the flipping of pages, but instead I surround myself with,
The thud and crunch of a simulated bullet, the soft shuffle of lips sliding past each other, the rewarding ping of reaching Achievements, and the flowing flutter of her hair.

I am young.
I am an unwound watch, slowly becoming less accurate,
I try to right myself, but I can’t come to do it alone,
I need someone to wind me up, putting me back on course,
Though it rarely lasts long before I plunge out of time,
Adding space from one tick to the next tock,
And again fall minutes behind.

I am young.
My future haunts me, like black fingers, clawing in the dark,
But games let me escape it, Bringing me into a new world where I am no longer afraid.
My grades are sub par, but at least my girlfriend is pretty.
I rarely finish my homework, but I have a gamerscore of like 20,000.
Pause for laughter. At least, I hope.

I may have a future, or I may not,
But I have time to find out because for now,
For now I am young.



*speechless* I feel youuuuuu ! <3 it

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741