I remember facing your house, and thinking ¨Should I visit her?¨

Like the fool I was, I thought, ¨I'll see her again.¨

And so without a second thought, I got in the car and drove off.

If only I had known...

And little did I know...

But if I only had known, the little part that I did not know,

I would've taken the few steps to your house and wouldn't have left you alone.

But a few days later I got a text from my Dad.

¨Hey honey... This is hard for me to say... I'm sorry it had to be this way...¨

¨I'm sorry...¨

¨Your puj, my Mom, has left this world.¨

....

I laughed in disbelief.

There's no way the person who raised me, loved me, and made me who I am today is gone.

But I was wrong.

20 minutes later my Mom picked me up.

20 minutes later I was at your house.

It all felt surreal. 

Like in the movies when everything is in slow motion,

And yet it wasn't a movie, but a hard... cold... slap of reality.

You laying peacefully on the bed, and me filled with a torrent of emotions in the doorway.

¨Puj!¨ I called out to you.

Why you?!

Why now?!

Why my beautiful, kind loving, puj?!

The sadness, loneliness, and fear hit me all at once...

Through the funeral, burial, and the months to come

I've realized one thing above all things.

You defined me.

Made me who I am today.

You are a part of me...

You were a part of me...

And as for I?

Well...

I am you.