I am Who I Want to Be

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 23:59 -- Hei D

I was already there, waiting at a brink, looking for a clutch.
A thing I could look towards and ask for help
But within the noise and the frustration
I couldn't find a sign.
My story starts off small and unexpected, the happy girl born with
the riches of a millionaire.

In my heart, in my mind, I had the best thing anyone could ever wish,
dream, desire, the ever creeping substance that
humanity still craves.
The helping hand and the love that's so desperately lost.
I'm the girl who cried out in the middle of the night looking for that security
No it wasn't a blanket or mommy tucking me in
it was a God I searched for in the midst of the noise that erupted from my mouth.
But I'm silenced, I had a hand covering my mouth saying
this is the norm stick to it
this is your title live to it
You've got a church with all eyes looking at you and a father making sure
you're perfect, you're smiling, there's nothing wrong with you.

Heck I always knew there was something up
an eight year old isn't suppose to be thinking about a knife penetrating her heart
or a five story fall that can cause more than a little blood flow.
But I never spoke, I only stared, I only wrote in fiction what I wanted to be
and pretended to be what they wanted me to be.

But miracles happen, life does change
I went through a metamorphisis that surpassed a little butterfly opening her wings
No I rose through the ashes like a phoniex holding onto a God that
never gave up on me.
I clung to his teaching, my reasoning to live on and on.
There was a voice in my head to never let go in the middle of the noise,
so I stuck to it.
That voice put me in a path that wasn't so dark anymore
it led me down a road that showed me I shouldn't be scared.

I'm more loved than anyone and I'm the first to give a smile.
I can look at myself and say, "No one's changing me today".
Yeah I've got my issues and my flaws but
I rose up from that hole and became a whole new me
I'm not afraid of the streets that say you can't do that,
Because I'll be the first one to tell you I can do that, I can be
whatever God wants me to be
I can be the one who leads a revolution
who sparks a change
who causes a dream
I'm flawless because I believe I can set myself out there and be who I want to be
I believe in a God that can strengthen me
I can become the wildcard that America's never seen
I can be anyone I want to be.

I'm flawless because I am flawed, I am perfect because of my imperfection.
I don't let my past dictate my future
I use its mistakes and the mistakes of others to fuel my knowledge
to help make my decisions in the future.
So I do not fail, so that I may succeed and allow others to follow me.
I will be who I want to be not what they wanted me to be.
I'm better, I'm stronger and it just wont stop
my days on this Earth is limited so make the impact you can today
don't wait till tomorrow to say you can make a change.

Who I am is a fighter, a person who uses their talent to bring
forth happiness and never a conflicting pain.
I spread my knowledge to those who seek it and
try to represent the God that saved me from the abyss I threw myself in.
I have a heart that can be feared, a personality that's reserved for only the ones
who can break through the barriers placed up, I've got a fire that can
set this world A B L A Z E.

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