Who am I?
Well let me tell you a little bit about me..
I'm not really the person everyone sees..
People usually see someone confident..
Someone ready for each day..
But these don't really describe me..
I may be intelligent...
But my confidence is almost unexistant..
I may wake up in the morning ray...
But I usually have to force myself out of bed everyday...
People tell me I always look so glad...
That I always say things that are funny and witty..
But these are just a mask that they wouldn't enjoy my company without.
I may not look sad..
But that smile on my face is something I usually have to add..
I may say some stuff that's silly...
But that only helps me feel alive, but only for a little bit really...
Outside appearances can be decieving...
Making things look way better than they are...
I may get people easily believing,
But it's necessary because without it everyone would be leaving...
And I may seem like I don't try,
But that's only because I've became accustomed to this lie...

In reality... I am... trying...
Trying to live...
Trying to be happy...
Trying to get out of bed...
Trying to interest people...
Trying to find worth in life...
Trying so hard to find myself...
Trying so hard to figure it all out...
Trying so hard to make it through the day...
Trying so hard to be nice to myself inside my head...
Trying so hard to smile when I just want to cry uncontrollably...

Trying...
I am... trying...
And it's so..... tiring....
It's just so tiring to try every second of every day..
But still feel the same way I did yesterday...
And even though it tires me out... I still try..
Because I will not give up until the day I die...

That's who I am...
And I try everyday to be who I am...
Even though I'm sad I still put a smile on my face and tell a joke...
That's who I am...
Even though I'm suffering from depression I still get out of bed in the morning...
That's who I am...
Even though I'm terrified of being in a group of people I still do it...
Because I try my hardest everyday to live even though it's tiring...
That's me and I'm never changing...
I am... trying...
I always will try...
Until the day I breathe my very last breath,
I will be trying...
Because that's just who I am...
Someone who tries even when I want to give up...
That's exactly who I am...
And that's who I want to stay!