You "think" you understand.
You "think" you know what I go through on a daily basis.
Seeing your mother move on from the only man you knew as "Daddy"
Seeing your father lie and cheat his way through a marriage
Seeing your little brother struggle with wanting to hate the only man you both knew as "Daddy" or try to make sense of who and what he is.
I've witnessed the tears being shed in my household and most of the time I was the one who shed them. But outside of my bedroom I am the happiest person to be around but deep down inside I am still hurting.
I can tell the world that my Dad is amazing but deep down I am hurting because to the world he may seem that way but in my household it isnt that way.
Funny I can advise my friends out of almost any situation but cant find any for myself. I can only embrass that I am still hurting.. Im still craving that relationship that every little girl would love from her father. Im still crying because nobody can change those 18 years of hurt, confusion and betrayal that I often felt from my dad.
If it wasnt from this poem you would not know that I am still hurting.
I was taught to save my tears for the pillow.. but now you know I am still hurting.