i am self sabotaging


i am a bolt action remington rifle.

i am the nosebleed after a fight with your dad.

i am the bitter aftertaste of antidepressants.

i am the stickiness between your fingers

after you eat a creamsicle.

i am as lonely as the abandoned mall,

with the escalators still running.

i am the black leather corset

lying on the bathroom floor.

i am like the menthol smoke,

filling up your car with cancer and regret.

i am the golden kaleidoscope

rolling off the table.

i am the cigarette burns on your hand.

i am the shattered mansion,

attracting all of the weak people.

i am like the forgotten mug of coffee,

the creamer separating and floating up on top.

i am the cherry red lollipop

hanging off your crush’s lips.

i am the serrated knife

only to be used for meat.

i am the panic in your blue eyes

when you hear a knock on the car window.

i am burning love letters,

spilling ashes and unforgiveness.

i am the lies your father whispers on your mother’s neck,

sharper than his smile.

i am self sabotaging, ruining everything

i have ever built up for myself.



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