I am proud

Sat, 05/13/2017 - 13:54 -- Thrana

Im proud to be american i whisper in fear
As another black life is taken
Seemingly out of self defense
As people around me laugh
and say they got what they deserved

Im proud to be american i say trembling
As my friends are mentally abused
by their families
because of their sexuality and gender
Because they are not "normal"

Im proud to be american i say, my eyes downcast
As my gender is of more importance than my mind
As it dictates what i can or cannot do
And how they observe me

Im proud to be american, my voice cracking
As suicide rates skyrocket
As i watch my friends bleed
from their wrists
And all they tell them is theres better ways to get attention

Im proud to be american, my hands over my ears
As more stress is put onto our shoulders
We have to get good grades
We have to go to college or our lives will end up in dust.
Yet wasn't school the place to learn?

Im proud to be american i cry
As another test is thrown at us
For some reason we dont know
We have to do good its important.
And my fear of failure screams at me for not being good enough

Im proud to be american i learned
As I watch as the generations younger then me struggle to survive
As their breaths are cut short
Their terrified little fists waving like The flag we so proudly display. They Are pressured to grow up fast.
What are we if we cant even spare then a few years of bliss?

Im proud to be american i gasp
As kindness is considered a delicacy
Viral videos show kindness as if it Were some rare pearl dragged from The depths.
We no longer know the feeling

Im proud to be american, i carve into my brain
As they make rape jokes, cat-calls and all
Not just to women but to men as well
Im almost sick as they nudge each other
Pointing and laughing
At the young man across the street
Obviously enjoying how he felt
In the outfit that would later be called

Im proud to be an american, i cower
As they yell at me for having depression
As they call my anxiety nonexistent
They tell me i just need to be happy
I need to stop worrying
I wish i could do as they ask
Maybe i could be useful for once

Im proud to be american i question
As the world slowly starts to turn into a green house
As we have the power to stop it
Yet we bask in the sense of false security

Am i proud to be american i ponder
As my generation gets blaimed for everything
It had been set into motion years before our births and yet
We're the ones who caused it?

Am i proud to be american, i wonder loudly
As food is inhanced chemically
As medicines cost more then a family can afford and i see the death in the newspaper
Realizing that they denied this person their chance to live

Am i proud to be american, i think angrily
As corruption becomes a board game
And we are just pawns to be moved by the slimy hands of a giggling toddler
As i watch those around me fall to their knees
Wondering how they are going to feed their families

I am not proud to be american i snap
As they say they are open minded
Yet they glare and curse at any different from them
As they say their religion is the only one
As they preach hate and not love

I am not proud to be american i state
As if my words had power
As if i was able to change the ideas of a nation so covered in rust
You couldnt see the light beneath
As if my words had power to change opinions as good as money

No, no i am not proud to be american
And i will not be until our youth can stand tall not bent over in stress and anxiety
Until we can walk the streets free of fear
When we can have open conversations about different religions
Until we can become a free nation
When nothing is considered 'non-american'
When we can be free to be our selves with out prosecution
On the day when gender and race and sexuality are nothing important compared to our minds
Until that day, I am not proud to be american.

This poem is about: 
My country



Hey! I used to have really bad anxiety and depression issues as well, but last summer Jesus called me to Him and I accepted Him into my life, and He has completely changed me from the inside out. My anxiety and depression have been nonexistent. I believe that you feel these things and that you feel the weight of so much on your shoulders; they are the results of our sin in our lives, and if you come to Christ and admit you're a sinner and that you can't go on without Him He can, annd will, take these burdens away from you. No medication, drugs, yoga, or anything else can free you from slavery other than God.

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerfully expressed! Hope you keep writing your heart and heart! Please keep sharing! 

Also there is an urgent matter to end modern day slavery today is national anti traficking day. Let us end world slavery, go sign the petition to make congress act. Look up International Justice Mission. 

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If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741